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Monday, July 30, 2012

OFW guide: Thinking of dating a co-worker? Many think it's 'bad romance'

"I want your love, and all your love is revenge. You and me could write a bad romance." 

So goes Lady Gaga's song "Bad Romance," which is how some relationship experts describe "office romance."

There's nothing "ethically wrong" with having a romantic fling with an officemate but in most workplaces, it is discouraged.

The news site said, "Dating someone from work will not be easy, so don't act on your first fleeting desire."

When you're not absolutely sure that you would like to be with that person for good, it is better not to pursue an office romance.

"Stop and ask yourself, 'Am I really into this person?' If the answer's 'No,' or even 'Not Really,' it may be best to continue pursuing love outside the office," said.
Office romance has its pros and cons. Some people think "it's convenient" while others say it's a risk that could end their career.
The information site “Knoji” pointed out the pros and cons of having a relationship with a colleague in the office:
(1) Spending a lot of time together -- For most lovers, spending time together is what keeps the relationship intact.
If your lover is your officemate, you will probably be spending the whole day with her. You might even ask yourself why you are being paid to be with your beloved.

(2) Knowing the same people -- This could be a great thing because you’ll know what kind of people she’s with in the office.

(1) Spending too much time together -- Too much of anything is always bad. Spending too much time together in the office may lead to boredom, taking each other for granted, and eventually a big break-up.
(2) When you fight, your officemates are bound to take sides -- While it may be good to have common friends in the office, when you fight or break up, they will most likely take sides. Some friends might feel that they are closer to you than her and vice versa.
The problem? Some friends may become ‘frenemies’ if you guys break up.

The information site, a New York Times company, gives more reasons why you should totally avoid having an office relationship:
(1) Distracting -- Any kind of relationship will definitely be distracting. This may affect your productivity and efficiency as an employee. You could end up jobless due to your supposed "inspiration."
(2) Confusing -- A relationship with a co-worker will change the way you treat each other, whether you like it or not. It will be difficult to put a boundary on when and where you act as lovers. This may confuse both of you when it comes to work-related agendas.
(3) Blinding --  People say love is blind. But is that still the case when you start realizing nasty stuff about your lover because you had an argument an hour ago before work?
Later on, you might stay in an office relationship not because you still want to but out of fear that your work relationship will be forever ruined once you press the red button.
(4) Breaking up -- Once you decided that things couldn’t be worked out anymore and you have to go different ways, you will feel an emptiness that was once filled with love that blossomed in the office.
The sad fact is, you’re still working together, it’s painful just to get a glimpse her and it would be torture to see her quickly replacing you with – guess what? – your best office buddy.

Dating your boss
A lot of people think that dating your boss gives you special treatment, gossip immunity, and powers beyond that of a "mere employee."
Sure, sometimes you will get a slight advantage when your boss loves you. However, don’t always expect that things will always be easy for you.
The truth is, it just makes everyone aware of your relationship. They will all be waiting like starved dogs for any little thing that happens between the two of you, including arguments and public displays of affection.

Relationship do's and don'ts
Meanwhile, the information site “Relationships-Affairs” gives a few tips to keep you out of unnecessary trouble in the office:
(1) Don’t start a relationship if you’re not serious about it.
(2) Don’t start a relationship if you don’t see it as something long-term.
(3) Don’t entertain the idea of having flings in the office.
(4) Don’t do anything intimate in the office such as touching and kissing.
(5) Never have an affair with a married co-employee.

(6) Never bring personal problems, especially heartaches, with you to the office.

(7) Delay a possible relationship and think things out first if the person is someone you work directly with.
(8) Respect your colleagues regardless of your or your lover’s position in the company.

Ending a relationship just because it was born at the “wrong” place doesn’t really do anyone justice, especially if you are serious.

Just make sure that you treat everyone with respect and there shouldn’t be any problems. - VVP, GMA News

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